Day 31: And done.

I had so many good ideas rolling around in my head throughout the course of my day...but I didn't write a single one of them down.  Now they're just snippets, like wisps of cloud, floating off into the ether.  Ah well, when you have nothing left to write about, there's always writer's block:

My lord, there are a lot of books on this subject.  My own theory is that if you actually force yourself to write something, anything, you'll eventually get to where you wanted to go.  What gets in the way is that we procrastinate, we insist on writing about only one thing, we insist on sticking with one project instead of letting ourselves drain off the excess so we can get back to where we need to be, and we believe everything has to be absolutely perfect, then freak ourselves out that it isn't just right and therefore shouldn't be in print.

It is all in our heads.  You may say, "Well, duh."  But that's not what I mean.  It's not that you have run out of ideas or have lost your creativity.  You're just being stubborn and/or afraid and, really, a pain in your own arse.

I believe that what we want to write wants to be written. I believe that as I have an impulse to create, the something I want to create has an impulse to want to be born. My job, then, is to show up on the page and let that something move through me, in a sense, what wants to be written is none of my business. 

- Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way

I have to remind myself when I get in those moods to just sit down and write anything that comes, even if it's the same sentence over and over again.  As long as my fingers are moving on a keyboard or I've put pen to paper, I'll be fine - I just need to keep going and I'll get there.  Regardless of where the current "there" happens to be.

In other news, I feel that I have successfully finished this month's NaBloPoMo and beaten my own writer's block for the past 31 days (with exception of those two days that we won't mention, eh?).  I have really enjoyed being a part of this project and have just decided that I'm going to sign up for February's NaBloPoMo, but since I'll be spending a lot of time thinking about future moving plans, I don't know that it will be daily.  More on that in tomorrow's post!

Unless the dentist drugs me and I end up sleeping all day...

Day 30ish: Avoidance

I started writing this post on Wednesday in the late morning.  It wasn't until after midnight that I realized  I'd been doing all kinds of things to avoid finishing it.  My day was extremely productive.  Laundry done and put away.  Scarf for Jenn finally completed.  More boxes packed and moved to the garage.  I even snuck in a bit of television while crocheting and waiting for the laundry to finish.  But I avoided my computer.

It's not that, after almost an entire month of writing daily, I don't know what to write about anymore.  There is always inspiration out there.  All one has to do is look.

No, my avoidance is due to knowing I have to face a harsh reality.  I've said it before and I'll say it again - I do not regret having moved to the DC Area.  The two biggest reasons are (1) I finally got this blog started and look, it's still going - who knew?  And (2) I finally had a chance to apply at the company I'd always wanted to work for and figure out if it would be the right fit for me.  And though it isn't the exact fit I'd hoped it would be, it is still a job I want to always have, even if I can only do it part-time.  Really, it's less a job and more a hobby I get paid for.

But the hard, cold truth is that I was better off financially in California.  I had a stable job that paid well and could have moved out of my own place and in with a roommate to save money.  And eventually I could have afforded to move to Seattle, which was my long-term goal for the last year or so before I left.  I gave up stability to pursue dreams.  Sometimes you have to do that and there is certainly nothing wrong with that...as long as you don't run off in desperation...which is basically what I did, I realize now.  I have minded living paycheck to paycheck (and barely that) much less than I thought I would.  I've become frugal and careful and I'm pretty sure it's what got me into crochet (all the yarn I have was given to me by Mary, so I've only paid for a few hooks and stitch markers).

She hoped to be wise and reasonable in time; but alas! Alas! She must confess to herself that she was not wise yet.
― Jane Austen, Persuasion

However, I've also come to the realization that as amazing as DC is (especially the museums), the DC Metro Area is not a good fit for me.  I imagine if you compare the San Francisco Bay Area to DC, then to Seattle, you'll know exactly what I mean and wonder what the hell made me think this would all work out.  But I don't hate living here.  I just know it isn't the right place for me to stay.  And the problem is that I'm not young enough to be living the way I am right now in an area I don't have much interest in.

Another unfortunate truth is that I don't have any money to move.  Which isn't to say that it won't happen, it just means I have to...retrench.  And yes, I have been watching Persuasion too much lately.  Even if I don't mind the idea of cutting some costs where I can, the reality is that it will take a while to save up for this move no matter what I do.  Unless I prostitute myself, but then I'd probably get caught and go to jail and have to pay back whomever bailed me out, so let's not even think it.

So there you have it, all the little truths I've been avoiding because I don't like the sound of them, even when it's only in my head.  It isn't horrible, it's something to work towards, a light at the end of the tunnel.  But it still stinks.  Just a bit.

"I hate to hear you talk about all women as if they were fine ladies instead of rational creatures. None of us want to be in calm waters all our lives."
― Mrs. Croft (Jane Austen, Persuasion)

In memory of Day 29: Free Stuff

I wish it were true that I worked so hard yesterday that I fell asleep before being able to write my Day 29 post.  But....the truth is that I came home from work, then spent hours organizing my ArtBins and new toolbox.  I am a truly ridiculous person, it turns out.  You may have already figured that one out, though.

Since I failed to provide you with entertainment yesterday and won't be able to finish my Day 30 post till later, I am here to offer you links to free craftiness.

Craftsy remains one of my favorite things on earth (thanks, Mary) and is very easy to use.  Signing up is free and requires no obligation from you.  If you see a class below that sparks your interest, go get it! It's free!  Why not?!  There are dozens of classes available and quite a few of them are under $20.  Even if you think you won't use one of these classes right now or you're not ready to take the next step, sign up for it - the class is yours for as long as Craftsy exists.  Do it.

Knitting:
How to Cable Knit Necklines
Knitting Short Rows 101
Know Your Wool

Baking:
A Buttercream Technique How-To
Learn the Art of Hand Painting Cakes

Cooking:
Learn How to Make Pizza

Jewelry Making:
Jewelry Making Class (Micro Torch Basics)

Sewing:
Learn Sewing Machine Troubleshooting

Sewing Machine Feet from A to Z
Bag-Making Basics: Reversible Tote and Zipper Pouch
Bag-Making Basics: Drawstring Bag and Bucket Bag


Quilting:
Craftsy Block of the Month
Creative Quilt Backs

Also check out the classes that are currently on sale on Craftsy (they range from $9.99 to $29.99).

Day 28: Redirect to Awesome

                                             

I took one look at the newest post on my bud Andi's site, Once in a Lifetime Travel, and realized that you should all see it, too.  Amazing pictures of Carnival in Venice.  I have been rendered speechless.
(read more...)